A lesson in sharing

A lesson in sharing

June 4, 2010, 2:00 pm
Filed under: Village Life

My shoes are gone again. I had just sat down on the mat with my family, leaving my sandals on its perimeter, and already they’ve shuffled away on someone else’s feet. “To paddam ngoni?” – “Where are my shoes?” I ask my family. In response, three separate people offer me their shoes, including little four-year-old Papa, who is wearing two rights, one blue, one red. Of course, there’s the momentary annoyance. I should be used to chasing my shoes around because it seems like every time I take them off, they’re hijacked. But I guess anyone’s shoes are fair game, because when someone leaves the mat on which we’ve been lounging in the shade, they instinctively go to the closest pair, no matter if it isn’t theirs. Sometimes I wonder if anyone owns anything around here.

I find them later on my sister Binta’s feet as she’s stoking the cooking fire about to prepare lunch. She apologizes profusely even though I’m pretty sure she’s not used to people caring about a stupid thing like their shoes.

That’s the way it is here among families, with everything seemingly. Everyone shares their cell phone chargers, their scarves, their notebooks. Have you ever had a child with a ripe mango walk up to you and ask you if you’d like some, even before they’ve taken one single bite? I have. And I was blown away when it happened. There’s no crying, or screaming “Mine!” They’ll just give anything to you, as if you had as much right to it as they do.

When I first noticed this phenomenon, I remember sitting down with a friend and explaining my frustrations. In the West, I had said, people work hard to earn what they have, so by our standards, when someone uses our things, sometimes without asking, it is considered rude. But here, I was told, when a person buys something they understand that it is not only them, but the entire family who will benefit. Sharing is so, so important.

It’s one of the things I’ve had to get used to in the past year, this communal way of living. It’s kind of nice in some ways and difficult in others. If I need anything, my family will give it to me if they can. But on the other hand, I’ll be asked incessantly for things like pens, shampoo and yes, my precious shoes. I’m sure my family thinks it is great to have a new addition, as for me, perhaps I should have paid closer attention in nursery school.

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